The Bulgy Blade: A Short Story Written (ish) By Yours Truly And A Fun Plot Generator App

I just discovered this website, and I’m still recovering from laughing so hard. I was looking for some cool words to use (don’t ask) and I found this nifty little place that will give you plot ideas, pen names, and even write short stories for you.

I know I’ve come across it before, but I’ve never taken the time to explore what it actually does.

You have to spend about five minutes answering questions like the characters’ names, setting, mood, etc. But then it asks for random information such as five adjectives that describe the protagonist or a noun you might compare the secondary character to. Kind of like a MadLibs (remember those?).

You can also click the “suggest” button and the answers will auto-populate.

The software is not error free in that it can’t tell if you’re using singular or plural nouns, so the determiners might be wrong or missing altogether. Still, it was really fun to play with, and I signed up to be notified when the app comes out.

I wouldn’t suggest using this to publish the short stories as-is. They’re only about 500 words long, and I doubt they come with any sort of publishing rights. But I guess it could be used as a “starter” or opener if used correctly. And it sure as hell offers a lot of fun ideas and can get your creative juices flowing.

Anyway, without further ado, here is the short story I generated. It’s called The Bulgy Blade (cause, yanno, erotica writers are all about the bulge…)


Dirk Countchocula had always loved insecty Los Angeles with its vivacious, vigilant very large buzzing beetles with extra large heads. It was a place where he felt delighted.

He was a rude, gentle, red wine drinker with skinny cock and brown breasts. His friends saw him as an arrogant, average angel. Once, he had even revived a dying, baby snail. That’s the sort of man he was.

Dirk walked over to the window and reflected on his shiny surroundings. The sleet rained like bouncing rats.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Bang Bang. Bang was a bold queen with blonde cock and ginger breasts.

Dirk gulped. He was not prepared for Bang.

As Dirk stepped outside and Bang came closer, he could see the hissing glint in her eye.

“I am here because I want sex,” Bang bellowed, in a special tone. She slammed her fist against Dirk’s chest, with the force of 8587 rats. “I frigging love you, Dirk Countchocula.”

Dirk looked back, even more cross and still fingering the bulgy blade. “Bang, I admire your eyebrows,” he replied.

They looked at each other with irritable feelings, like two tiny, tasteless tortoises rampaging at a very callous back to school shopping, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two modest uncles loving to the beat.

Dirk regarded Bang’s blonde cock and ginger breasts. He held out his hand. “Let’s not fight,” he whispered, gently.

“Hmph,” pondered Bang.

“Please?” begged Dirk with puppy dog eyes.

Bang looked happy, her body blushing like a proud, perfect piano.

Then Bang came inside for a nice drink of red wine.

THE END


Credit for the short story goes to plot-generator.org.uk. View the original post by clicking here. I wasn’t signed in when I published, so yes, I am the John Doe *takes a bow*